You ever hear someone say “it just happened to me!” -as if luck was the deciding factor in how a situation played out (and in some cases, luck is a factor but it is not the defining factor)- and a little bit of disdain settles in because nothing like that ever happens to you? If looking back on the last half of the decade, coming into my own as an adult, taught me anything, it’s that a strong woman simply must not let things happen to her, but happen to things. This has been my mantra for the last few years and it’s made the little trickles of luck that come my way even more impactful than had I just let situations play out as they happen to me.
As idealistic as the world of blogging may look to someone, I am not spared the full human experiences of sorrow, pain, loss, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, control issues, panic attacks, and more. I simply choose not to share the negative and focus on the positive. But my early to mid-20’s when I didn’t realize I was in an emotionally abusive toxic relationship and was merely existing, I let things just happen to me and then as quickly as they happened, they slipped through my fingers just as quickly.
It was when I was 26 that I changed my mindset and decided that I would no longer let things (good and bad) just happen to me without my explicit consent and help. If something good was going to come my way, I was going to nurture it and care for it to let it grow to the best of my ability. If something bad was going to happen to me, I took it in stride, made a plan, learned from my failure and recalculated how to make it a positive experience. (Learning to cope with the bad things were skills I didn’t learn on my own but through many years of therapy.) If you need some therapy advice, check out our posts here with my friend who is a licensed professional counselor to start your journey.
But when nothing happened to me, that’s when I had to happen to things.
I hope you understand from this dialogue so far that when good and bad things happen to you, that is a moment for you to grow in little bursts. Those moments may be fleeting and not come as frequently, so when nothing happens to you, that is when you have a chance for major growth. That is when you can create your own opportunity and make things happen to you.
It all starts with a positive mindset that you are worthy of whatever you can dream of.
My challenge to you is that for 2020, and hopefully this entire decade, you stop letting things just happen to you, and start happening to the things you want.
If you want to be a millionaire by the end of the decade, happen to that dream.
If you want to open up an orphanage for refugee children, happen to that dream.
If you want to be the first woman president, get out there and happen to that dream.
However ridiculous, ludacris, out-there or wild that dream may be, you have all the power to seek out how to get it. It starts with a little curiosity and a determined will to happen to that dream.
You have to start somewhere, so start now. You are worthy of this dream, and it’s waiting for you to come after it. All you need to do is happen to it.
Cheers to a lovely 2020.